I don't even know
Where I should start
You've affected my life
And more importantly my heart
You brought something out
That I didn't know was there
Because no one took the time
To tell me they care
I saw a side of myself
That I thought had been dead
Yet you awakened my soul
With everything you have said
You're different from everyone
And you understand me
You broke down my walls
And the real me, you see
Friday, January 21, 2011
Poem - Brother
Walking thought the halls of this world alone,
searching for the thing unknown,
looking for the one to help me thought,
this world i thought was true,
and then i found some one to share,
this new world with,
without a care,
your there for me when no one else was,
you showed me what a true friend was,
your there for me with all this crap,
my life has to hold from the past,
you hold me high when all i do is fall,
for this i will call,
my brother,
my friend,
i will love you till the end,
Thanks for being there my true friend.
searching for the thing unknown,
looking for the one to help me thought,
this world i thought was true,
and then i found some one to share,
this new world with,
without a care,
your there for me when no one else was,
you showed me what a true friend was,
your there for me with all this crap,
my life has to hold from the past,
you hold me high when all i do is fall,
for this i will call,
my brother,
my friend,
i will love you till the end,
Thanks for being there my true friend.
Poem - The Love That Grew Out Of Friendship
About 6 years ago,
On Valentine's Day...
I handed someone a card,
That was the only thing I gave.
And about 8 months ago,
He pulled it out again,
He showed it to me
And my heart began to sing
The card I gave him,
Said "I'll croak if you won't be mine."
Now if you stop and think about this
Then love must really be divine!
His name may be old,
Yet our love is forever new
His name is Troy Rockwell
And soon, that will be me too!
On Valentine's Day...
I handed someone a card,
That was the only thing I gave.
And about 8 months ago,
He pulled it out again,
He showed it to me
And my heart began to sing
The card I gave him,
Said "I'll croak if you won't be mine."
Now if you stop and think about this
Then love must really be divine!
His name may be old,
Yet our love is forever new
His name is Troy Rockwell
And soon, that will be me too!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Update - Change of Heart
Today has been a rather productive day for me. I got some work done on my story. Even though word was playing up and kept shutting down on me, I still got some good writing done. This story is a story I'm writing with parts of my own life into my story. I'm a gay male, but with a difference. Anyhow, I love writing this story. It is helping me get some feelings and thoughts out of my life to write a story.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Leave - Poem
Screams echo
words cut deep
i hide the bruises
i fake a smile
i push the tears back
nothing can cover the truth
lies to everyone
lies to hide
rage depression fills life
my family is hurt
my fault only my fault
my heart is black
wrists stained red
will never forgive
for the words they said
leave it all behind
leave it all in pieces
just leave
words cut deep
i hide the bruises
i fake a smile
i push the tears back
nothing can cover the truth
lies to everyone
lies to hide
rage depression fills life
my family is hurt
my fault only my fault
my heart is black
wrists stained red
will never forgive
for the words they said
leave it all behind
leave it all in pieces
just leave
Life - Poem
Life hates me life doesn't care
it takes
holds me in a prison of hate
no light no joy
only guilt and lies fill the air
cant break free
hurting falling
darkness surrounds my thoughts
I'm lost in memories
my fault my mistake
life is cruel
life is nothing
it takes
holds me in a prison of hate
no light no joy
only guilt and lies fill the air
cant break free
hurting falling
darkness surrounds my thoughts
I'm lost in memories
my fault my mistake
life is cruel
life is nothing
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Poem - Immortal Addiction
I keep holding onto your daisies,
even though I should have planted
them on your grave stone.
I can't seem to let go of your scent,
the one you had glued to your skin.
These memories I still etch,
lips and hints of your past,
are not yet framed in my house
for you live discreetly, with me.
The sea hurls my unfinished work
and paintings half- coated,
toward its labored hole,
but even as I am immersed
in my overpowering compulsion,
I reiterate your menus
and quotes from a prisoner's cell.
even though I should have planted
them on your grave stone.
I can't seem to let go of your scent,
the one you had glued to your skin.
These memories I still etch,
lips and hints of your past,
are not yet framed in my house
for you live discreetly, with me.
The sea hurls my unfinished work
and paintings half- coated,
toward its labored hole,
but even as I am immersed
in my overpowering compulsion,
I reiterate your menus
and quotes from a prisoner's cell.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Poem - Eminent Pain
It never really changes,
Time just keeps ticking on.
How I feel inside,
Emotion is still pretty strong.
Loss is still eminent,
And how you went away.
It never really left
It's complicated, they say.
I shifted the anger,
Dealt with the denial.
Disbelief still haunts me,
Your softness, lost smile.
Sometimes I get breathless,
Thinking back to those days.
Your last words to me unknown,
And that's how they'll stay.
Your voice still rings clearly,
How you said my name.
Your passed oh so slowly,
It's never been the same.
The mark you left here,
The impact on my heart.
I watched you suffer,
And it ripped me apart.
I often think of you,
Don't dream of you anymore.
I'd do anything to see you,
Like I could before.
But years have passed,
The world set you free.
No, you're not coming home,
Coming home to me.
Time just keeps ticking on.
How I feel inside,
Emotion is still pretty strong.
Loss is still eminent,
And how you went away.
It never really left
It's complicated, they say.
I shifted the anger,
Dealt with the denial.
Disbelief still haunts me,
Your softness, lost smile.
Sometimes I get breathless,
Thinking back to those days.
Your last words to me unknown,
And that's how they'll stay.
Your voice still rings clearly,
How you said my name.
Your passed oh so slowly,
It's never been the same.
The mark you left here,
The impact on my heart.
I watched you suffer,
And it ripped me apart.
I often think of you,
Don't dream of you anymore.
I'd do anything to see you,
Like I could before.
But years have passed,
The world set you free.
No, you're not coming home,
Coming home to me.
Poem - Letting you Go
It's better this way
I know you'll see
You act like you don't care
So you don't need me
I'm walking away
Before i get hurt
I don't need it again
To be kicked to the dirt
I have problems of my own
But never once did i ignore
When i needed you most
I was shown the door
So i'm following my sense
I'm letting you go
But i loved you very much
Just so you know!
I know you'll see
You act like you don't care
So you don't need me
I'm walking away
Before i get hurt
I don't need it again
To be kicked to the dirt
I have problems of my own
But never once did i ignore
When i needed you most
I was shown the door
So i'm following my sense
I'm letting you go
But i loved you very much
Just so you know!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Poem - Buried Alive
Knowing you all my life is what hurts the most.
I wish we have never met,
then we would have never of been this close.
You were not only the closest person I would hang out with everyday,
but you let drugs come our way.
As I see tears roll down everyone's eyes,
people on their knees crying,
people I have never even met.
it's killing me inside.
before yesterday, I thought everything was fine,
I have so much anger against you right now!
how could you let this happen?!
I hate myself now!
I feel guilty!
I wish we have never met,
then we would have never of been this close.
You were not only the closest person I would hang out with everyday,
but you let drugs come our way.
As I see tears roll down everyone's eyes,
people on their knees crying,
people I have never even met.
it's killing me inside.
before yesterday, I thought everything was fine,
I have so much anger against you right now!
how could you let this happen?!
I hate myself now!
I feel guilty!
Poem - It's All Over
Washed up and forgotten
amid the sandy beaches,
overlooking my shady reflection;
deception and neglect
stares back at me.
Did I try too hard?
Was I wrong for what I did?
Is this truly the end-
mend and send
these sorrows away then.
Endings never turn out good
so why should I wait for mine,
as the sun breaks the horizon
I stop trying
in frustration and confusion.
It's all over.
amid the sandy beaches,
overlooking my shady reflection;
deception and neglect
stares back at me.
Did I try too hard?
Was I wrong for what I did?
Is this truly the end-
mend and send
these sorrows away then.
Endings never turn out good
so why should I wait for mine,
as the sun breaks the horizon
I stop trying
in frustration and confusion.
It's all over.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Character Building
To build good characters for your story, you must look at the mirror image of yourself. looking at yourself is something we all need to do to make believable characters in our stories we write. Today I have been doing some research about how to build good believable characters for my stories. You need to look into depth and think about the main character of your story.
A character first of all must be believable by the reader. You must connect the characters with the readers you want to attract. I want my stories to attract the young adults of this world. So I believe that to reach them, you must think like a child. Not a young child, but the age range I want to attract to read my stories. My goal and aim is to get the young adults to read and feel like the main character is their friend. They understand what the main character is going through.
With each character, you need to know what their going through, what makes them tick and how they act around their friends and families. What they feel, want and goals are. I know most my characters are strong in either mind, body or soul. Something they have all three elements.
A base for a Character build:
Full name, nickname, age, appearance(style of dress), education, occupation, relationships(family, friends), likes and dislikes, hobbies, talents, strengths and weaknesses, ethnic background, special characteristics, nervous habits, health issues(asthma, diabetes. etc), favorite saying, fears and goals, favorite saying, eating habits etc.
A character first of all must be believable by the reader. You must connect the characters with the readers you want to attract. I want my stories to attract the young adults of this world. So I believe that to reach them, you must think like a child. Not a young child, but the age range I want to attract to read my stories. My goal and aim is to get the young adults to read and feel like the main character is their friend. They understand what the main character is going through.
With each character, you need to know what their going through, what makes them tick and how they act around their friends and families. What they feel, want and goals are. I know most my characters are strong in either mind, body or soul. Something they have all three elements.
A base for a Character build:
Full name, nickname, age, appearance(style of dress), education, occupation, relationships(family, friends), likes and dislikes, hobbies, talents, strengths and weaknesses, ethnic background, special characteristics, nervous habits, health issues(asthma, diabetes. etc), favorite saying, fears and goals, favorite saying, eating habits etc.
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