Poem - Promised

A tear dropped.
I tumbled to my knees.
My face skyward.
Looking at the stars above me.
I thought clearly.
"How could you do this? How could you take her from me?"
My heart ached.
I gasped for breath.
The words rang in my ear, repeating over and over again.
"She's gone.....her fight..wasn't strong enough."
Questions on the tip of my tonge.
Why her? Why now? What did I do to deserve such pain?

Memories of us together flashed by my eyes.
One straight after another.
Tears were bleeding down my face.
I remembered times when she held my hand told me everything would be alright. We could fight this world together. We could be scared together. We would be together forever.

I could see the sky darken.
Clouds tumbling in.
It didn't sprinkle it poured.
It poured just like my tears poured down my face.
I looked down.
Below my foot was a sharp jagged rock.
I picked it up.
I touched it to my skin. Amemory so vivid. Past by my eyes.


She was leaning in close. She held my hand close to hers face and whispered "Promise me that no matter what happens. No matter what the future holds for us. You will never harm yourself. You wont ever take such a risk with your life again."
I remembered the tender beautiful kindness in her eyes.
The love.
I bowed my head close to her ear and whispered "I promise. No matter what happens."

The memory gone. 
I looked toward the sky again.
Soaked from the rain.
I whispered "I promise"
Another hot tear skidded down my face.
The rock dropped and forgotten about.
I wept.
Knowing I could never brake such a promise.
Knowing I had to fight......Alone. 

Poem - I love you

You don't know
You can't see
What really goes on
Inside of me
My eyes shield
How I feel inside
You don't know
How much I've cried
My mouth restricts
What I'd really say
And make you think
I'm perfectly okay
I know you tried
You mean well
But I have things
I'd never tell
To truly laugh
To really smile
Is something I haven't
Done in a while
You'll never know
How I really feel
I don't know how long
It will take to heal.
Just know that
I still love you
After everything
That I've been through.
You'll never see
Inside my mind
I'm protecting you
From what you'd find.
I protect you because
I love you so much.
This is my pain
You'll never know

Poem - Till Death Us Do Part

I'll never deceive you,cheat or lie.
It,s just not in me to be such a guy.
The promise i make is to take care of you.
To give you all things in my power to.
A life full of happiness love and more love.
It will appear it,s like from heaven above.
I want to make this a heaven on earth.
And give you everything i am worth.
You are the object of my desire.
And of you i will never tire.
Everyday until your last breath.
I will carry on loving you till my own death. 

Choosing Character Names

This  morning I have been toying with the thoughts on how I go about choosing names for my characters. I found that you have to choose the right first and last name that suits the characters. My protagonist has to have the right name, to suit their personality and who they are and what they are about to achieve in the story. Sometimes I struggle if I don't have the right name that suits the type of character the protagonist is and will do during the story.

I usually write christian stories about the main character is aged between 11 - 15 years old. Plus they are mostly male characters for the most part. I just love writing with my main character is male, even though I'm female myself. I just feel I can justify the feelings, thoughts and emotions. I guess it's because I'm so tomboyish in nature.

Sometimes I have to write with my main character is female, but not often. Just going with the feeling and knowing what my character wants to do, become or accomplish within the story. Remember to think a lot about what emotional, psychical and behavioural components in the build of the character. Make sure you make the right choices for each character in the story. Never just do it hap hazardously. Just think of who the character is, what they'll accomplish and also their friends and family. Make sure  each component of a character is well thought out and will fit into the right places in the story you're about to write.

Goals for 2012

I have decided to begin the new year with some important goals I've set myself for the year 2012.  I think if you set goals, you can slowly or as quickly as you feel meet those goals. It is hard to be a writer, but when you set yourself goals and a agenda for the things you'd like to accomplish. 

• Finish third story
• Edit both finished manuscripts
• Start a daily writing goals
• Write 500-1,500 words a day

Not sure when or if I can do these, but I intend to try my hardest to write daily, and work on these goals each month. Something inside is telling me to work hard, but enjoy the writing process. My partner and I are still writing our Christmas story. The thing is they keep not wanting to write on it. So I'm writing my other story that I'm working on. 

Circle of Friends:

Yancy hates it when his mother tells him they have to move. He knows he has to be mature boy and assist his mother in moving to Indianapolis. Starting a new school and new church. Trying to blend into the community as he is dark skinned and mostly a lot of mixed raced people around. But because he is a geek/nerd finds it hard to fit in. 


After being in the new place, hiss father appears at their new home. This is something he isn't ready for. He left a few months before Sanjay was born. He is the only one out of him and his sister to remember their father. His father is married and with a woman who has twin boys. Both boys are his father's. 


Yancy struggles with the fact his dad wants to raise his half brothers, but not be with them. The thoughts of making sure he never hurts his mother  or siblings. He is hard hearted and makes every moment to ruin his father life whenever he can. 


Slowly he learns that he has to accept that his father and mother don't love each other. He learns that it's hard to be around his father and the family he knows has. Plus he has to let his sister and brother learn that truth about their father. Accepting that he can spend time with him, and also be loyal to his mother. 

Childhood + ? = Writing Career

I'm a member of a few writing groups on Yahoo Groups. As you can tell by the title of this blog it's my writing blog. I got the title of this post from a person who writes on a blog with many other writers. I thought to myself this is a good thing to post about. Just today has been rather mixed. My partner is having trouble health wise and I want to write on the story we are both doing this Christmas.

I have several projects I'm working on right now. The thing is how my childhood relates to my writing. When I was in England. I was born in Ireland, but raised by my family in the south east of England. My parents divorced when I was four. Mother blamed me for everything after that date for my father leaving, my grandfather and Uncle David for abusing me and my brother Ian. Mother never listened to us. So the abuse went on for years. Plus things like being locked outside during a thunder storm as a child and teen. Being refused food when the family was eating.

Anyhow, I was sent to boarding school on the south east coastline in Margate, Thanet, England. My boarding school was a few minutes from the lovely sandy beaches of Thanet. I made some good friends. Some taught me how to read as I couldn't at this stage. Taryn, Caroline, Nikki, Lorraine and Kerry became my best friends while in school.

Taryn would read my poetry and say I was a good writer. I found writing poetry was a way to express my emotions and thoughts I hid deeply inside.  She showed my journal and poetry to our English teacher and Mrs Telfer said I had amazing talent. I never believed her. It also never stopped me writing. I was fifteen when I left school and had to live with my family.

Taryn would rescue me daily to spend time with her and we soon found we had a lot in common. Now she is in heaven with my Nana Lily. Plus my MIL Barbie is up there. She died last month. She was another one who told me I had talent. I have written a lot of poetry, dark depressing at times, but some light ones. I now written three novels, for MG/YA christian stories. I will keep writing till I am good at grammar and punctuation. I do need to improve them a little.

I hope one day, I can publish some poetry or one my novels. I just found since October 2005 I've been writing as a full time career move. I'm disabled and have many health issues. I write to relax and get emotions out. I just feel so alive when I write.

This is the reason I write, what is yours?

Re-writing a Story

I first began writing as a way to express myself. I wrote my first story in November of 2005. At this time I never knew about 'NaNaWriMo'. Now it's 2011 and I have completed two novels in two years. First 2010, then this year. But the very first story I wrote I want to rewrite due to learning more about the art of writing, plus improving my grammar and punctuation. I studied for my GED and took the test last year, but failed the English parts. I plan on studying again and taking the test to pass. Then I plan on going to school for creative writing. I'm also willing to learn by myself.

The story I wrote back then was 'Lisa Good or Bad?'. I have decided that story will be written, but better than my first attempt. But I also think I have studied and learned enough to improve my writing tenfold. I sure hope I come up with a better title to my story than what I have.