Saturday, December 15, 2012

UPDATE - Valley of Echoes

This morning I haven't written anything but change a few things on my story. I intend to get some more writing done on my NaNo story. I'm on Chapter 19 right now and with 36,000 words done. Valley of Echoes are about the abuse I suffered at the hands of family. I love writing and writing this story is helping me understand my self and others around me.

I wrote some yesterday and the day before. I plan on getting at least 1,000 words done today or tonight. Going out with Theresa is helping my writing and getting this story finished. Plus, it helps to get the feelings and emotions out. It helps to write.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Progress Report: NaNoWriMo

It's now half way into the writing month. NaNoWriMo is a writing month. It's where you write a novel in 30 days. November is writing month. I'm up to 10,000+. My story is a teen, edgy story. I use my abusive childhood as my story themes. The title of my NaNo story is called 'Valley of Echoes.'  I'm on Chapter Five.

I'm about to try write some more. I need to stop procrastinating and write. I find writing brings me to life. I can show the world there are people like me out there. I'm catholic, a survivor of many forms of abuse by not only my parents, but my brothers, grandparents and my Uncle David. Imagine your sexually, emotionally, physically and verbally.

Write what you want to read. Write what you feel you have a story to write. To let children and teens know that God and Jesus is there, they just need to pray and ask God into there lives. They have to have a contrite spirit and a humble heart.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Day One - NaNoWriMo

On day one I only got 785 words written. I need to write 2,000 a day to keep up and keep to schedule. I bet my friends on Facebook are ahead of me as I have no working computer. I'm sharing my partner's computer till my laptop come back from the repair shop. I know exactly what I'm going to write and how my main character is going to interact with the rest of the characters.

Let's see if I can reach my goal today or do more to catch up.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

New Project - Prodigal Mother

Right now I'm at Panera Bread for a meal and typing on our computers. I'm thinking about my new project I'm working on. It's based on some things that happened during my childhood with my own mother. She was never loving, caring and didn't want me to be happy at all. I think I need to get my butt into gear and write, writer and write some more. I hate not being able to write. I plan on going over to Johnna's tomorrow with my partner. It's there birthday. They will be 38 yrs old. They got half their gift from us. The rest of their gift is in my closet. Plus Angel had gotten my partner a book for them.

Now I want to set myself some Goals about getting this project finished and done by November 30th. I'm helping Theresa set up an account on NaNo Write Month. I believe she'll be a good writer. She full of vip and vinegar in my book. He story is going to be about someone writing a journal in a freshman year in high school.

My project is about a boy whose mother left him and his little sister when she was just born. Now the mother is back and with another young child in hand. The main character wants to know if he should trust his mother or not. He doesn't want to trust her one bit. He recons she is going to dump her daughter, his half sister on his grandmother along with him and Kendall.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Update - Life

There has been a lot going on during the last month or so. My brother died of cancer. I haven't been writing,  other than poetry. Sort of lost the nerve and feeling to write. Right this minute I'm at my friend's house Johnna. I love coming over here. Johnna is a writer too, and she gives me confidence in my own talents and skills. She is alike my partner.

I haven't really written since last September (2011). This was Wednesday 1:35pm. I have/am plotting and building a story template for the story I want to begin writing again. I have decided to write my first edgy/ emotional story. I plan on writing on it daily. I want to make it my number one project.


  • Start and work on my current story (Valley of Echoes)
  • Keep to my diet
  • Work on plotting my Nano Novel
  • Write 750 words on my current project a day
I found keeping goals and working on them is good. I will still spend time with my partner and friends. I will still go to church on Sunday's. I missed last week. I like going to church, having communion. Having communion and praying, seeing my friends I only see at church.

My faith is my main thing that keeps me alive along with the support of friends and my family here in America. This day is a start of a new day. I will write daily. I will try write 750 minimum a day, word count. 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Poem - The Smile

Your smile touches
my heart like a lava
so strong & so unbreakable
That when i look at your face
My whole body quivered
My hands sweats
Feelings oh so great...

Your smile made me smile too
It's like a special gift to me each day
Your smile is incomparable one
In the World there's no Man
Like you who attracted my whole visions
My heart and Soul
Your smile is one in a million
So sweet so beautiful

Your smile it's like a healing agent
That relieve all my pain
When you're in front of me
I am full of joys
That i can't imagine to live
a day without seeing you
My dear smiling one
I Love You!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Poem - What happened to me?

What happened here?
Where did I go.
Sick of these tears.
Lost and away from home.

Give me the knife.
Its time to end my life.
I know you dont care.
So let my guilt be what I share.

You have no idea how I feel.
This depression building up, like going up hill.
I am so tired and I just want to sleep forever.
You were just so darn clever.

You knew what to say and You played with my heart.
But that is fine, now I am the one being smart.
What happened to my laugh I use to hear so much.
Cant even finish a small meal of lunch.

What happened to me that this is what you do?
Well, just know that my life is through.

Poem - I feel undead

Living yet lifeless.

My mind is a melting pot of ideas, and yet I have none.

I'm not happy, but I'm not sad.

I'm bored, but don't want to do anything.

I'm lonely, but I don't like to be around people.

I haven't died...but I don't have a life

Monday, May 28, 2012

Song - Westlife - I Have a Dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder (wonder) of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

Oh yeah
I have a dream (have a dream), a fantasy (fantasy)
To help me through (help me through) reality (reality)
And my destination (destination) makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness
([Mark:] pushing through the darkness baby)
Still another mile

I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
([Mark:] everything I see yeah)
I believe in angels
([Mark:] I believe in angels )
When I know the time is right for me
([Mark:] time is right for me)
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream (oh yeah), a song to sing(song to sing)
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder (if you see the wonder) of a fairy tale (of a fairy tale)
You can take the future even if you fail (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see (everything)
I believe in angels (yeah)
When I know the time is right for me (right for me)
I'll cross the stream (cross the stream) - I have a dream (have a dream)
I'll cross the stream (cross the stream) - I have a dream

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Poem - Poem for Mama

Listen to these words as they come from the heart.
Think of the last time we had to depart.
How long it seemed to take before you started the car.
How slowly these pieces from my heart broke apart.

I swore I wouldn't cry, or atleast not infront of you.
Can't forget the last karaoke singing we went too.
Or how mad I was to go to wrestling, i just refused.
But, it was never enough time, and now I am searching for things to do.

I seemed to feel my hurt worse the first few hours you were gone.
I knew I had to wait, cause the next time i seen you would be so long.

Mama, I'm waiting for our next visit.
Just to be with you for a weekend again.
I wouldn't care what we done.
Just want to be able to see you again before the next sun.

Monday, April 9, 2012

New Project - Novel Two

Courage to Weather the Storm


Alex is an 8th grader at St. Clare Grade School. His life is turned upside down when after a massive fight, his father leaves the family, leaving mom to struggle to keep everything together. Alex is crushed at first about his father leaving, until his father's secret past is discovered. With his best friends help, Alex aids his family into dealing with the loss of the father along with an increase in their faith.

He had never sounded so cold before. This wasn’t like him at all. What had made my dad change so much. Maybe I caused this change in him. Just watching him put the suitcases into the trunk, he then climbed into the driving seat of the dark red dodge neon and drive away. The thoughts in my head were racing like it was in the Indy 500. Just watching till the car disappeared. Somehow I knew this was a bad thing.
Taking a big deep breath, I turned and looked at my younger brother and sister. Roxanne looked like she was about to burst into floods of tears. Anton ran over to me and hugged me around my waist. He was never this clingy before.  It occurred to me that maybe he was unsure like I was why dad had just up and left.
“Alex, why did daddy go?” I hadn’t the heart to tell him dad wouldn’t be coming back. I knew I had to let mom explain things to him. The thing was where was she?
“Daddy, well, umm, he had to go. Mom will explain it better.” I told him as I walked them both into the house. I turned and hoped mom would be somewhere.
The thing that had baffled me was how dad didn’t even say goodbye to any of us. Then there was mom’s absence. Where was she? She was usually home when we got home from school.  This was completely odd.
I turned and closed the front door and walked along the hallway. I heard Roxy in the kitchen. I guessed she wanted a snack. Mom always had snacks waiting for us. I walked into the kitchen and she was opening a BIG bag of potato chips. “Roxy, I’ll make us all a sandwich.” I announced as I took the bag from her.
Quickly I put a clip on the bag of chips to seal the freshness in. Putting the bag back into the cupboard so I could make sure we had a healthy snack. I didn’t want mom complaining when she got home. I grabbed the wheat bread and cheese out the fridge. I began making myself a grilled cheese sandwich. Slowly I began buttering the side of the bread that hit the pan. It was something I was good at cooking.
“Do you two want grilled cheese? Or do you want something else to eat?” I asked as I started to put the pan on the stove to warm up. It was best when the pan was hot according to what Nana had taught me. 

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Poem - Roses are Red

Roses Are Red
Roses are red violates are blue nothing
is more beatiful then you
I close my eyes dreaming about you
there is nothing eles in this world
that has more meaning to me then the one
which is you as I count to two your eyes
begin to have tears as I hold you in to my
arms you lose all your worries and fears
I will always be here to protect and
respect you your smile and laughter warms
my hart as the love I have for you
nothing will tare us apart we walk
side by side for the whole world to see us
and for nothing to hide you shine like
a magnifasent angle that is so beautiful
and very special to me there is no one
eles who I rather be with then you
Roses are red violates are blue there is
no one I love more then you!

Poem - Six

Six is the number of years you were min.

Wonderful is what every moment with you was.

Enlighted is what I became because of you.

Love is what I felt every single day.

Very blessed is how each minute was.

Empty is how all my days are without you...

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Update - Reuniting Writing

It's been a while since I've written on this blog. I have not been writing much. I wanted to do justice to a story. The thing was I didn't like the way it was going. I want to make my story perfect. The thing is when you decide to be a writer. You shouldn't just try make every page perfect. You just write. Write from the heart and let it just flow. forget about making it perfect. Just write and ignore the fact you want to edit it as you go.

I have found you don't wait for inspiration to writer and finish a story. You just keep writing till the story is finished. With my current story I am writing a minimum of 750 words a day. If I write more I have done my job. If I just manage 750 words. I need to try figure out what is holding me back. I need to stop procrastinating.

Playing Sims2/Sims3 or any Facebook games is preventing me from finishing my story and doing what I love. Playing games is good. But I need to write as that is all I can do. I have to accept my limitations. I am disabled and my legs fail me many times a day.  Sitting at my computer and writing is my life. I write because I have stories to tell. I want to use my childhood experiences and my religious beliefs to bring the youth of today back to God.

I have found my faith is what gets me by each day. If you've lived a life like mine. You'd understand...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

W.W.T.D: What Would Teens Do?

Writing Authentic/Edgy Teen Literature

Writing something a pre-teen or teenager would call Edgy and based on real life. THe main stories I love to write about is kids aged 10-13years old. The thing is nothing I've written lately has been classed as edgy. The things I write, I use my childhood experiences and I believe they are good stories. This time I want to get deep under the skin of the main character of my new story idea. This time it will be realistic, authentic and very edgy. Not sure if I should write this story at all.

Using my childhood memories is where I would class as EDGY writing. Even though many things went on in my childhood. I'v never used the abuse I suffered at the hands of the adults who should have protected me. They did the complete opposite. They abused me and got my brothers to do the same. I want to show the kids and teens of this age that they aren't alone. That is why i'm going to try write my new story. I hope in time it will be published and show that even though our parents and adults in our lives don't protect or care about us. God and Jesus do.

I write so that the youth of today can know how much God is there for us. I believe he is one loving and caring Father would will always be there for us. Never stop believing in Him. He is OUR SAVIOR. He gives us unconditional love, never stopping to be there for us...

Friday, February 3, 2012

Eternal Silence

"Don't that make you suspicious, that the dead are keeping something back..." from the Witch of Coos.

Just think about it. what would you do if you could talk with a dead person, maybe a ghost of a dead friend or relative...  I know if I could talk to a ghost or someone that's died and gone to heaven. Just thinking about it is cool. I'd talk with my grandma Lillian and my MIL (Barbie) or my brother Ian. I'd also love to see them, hold them close and know they are doing alright and having a good time up there. 

I bet it would be cool to even talk to Jesus if that was possible. Talking to him face to face. It would be awesome. Know the right way to change my life around and learn things that nobody else can know. He is all powerful and stuff. He'd know where my life was going to end up when I do die. Maybe he'd tell me stuff I didn't know about myself. Tell me something that I had to overcome to be a better writer. 

Dreams and Goals

This morning after my partner left for work, I got onto his computer.  His computer works better than mine right now. My laptop is almost four years old and doesn't work well. I have been thinking about this subject for some time. I wanted to think about what my Goals and Dreams are for the year 2012. Right now I'm working on editing my first novel. I want to gt it published, but I lack confidence.

1: I want to get a novel published
2: Want to be more confident in my abilities
3: Want to work on my current projects
4: Get my current projects finished
5: To be more focused on my work


1: To get something published
2: To have a book signing

Sometimes having goals and dreams you'll make sure you can focus on these and work hard at getting the fulfilled. Sometimes I procrastinate on Facebook. I love to chat to the authors on there and get any advice or talk to some friends as well as playing some Facebook games.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Book Reviews and My Thoughts

abused teenager girl

I have read this book several times. I found that Cheryl Rainfield is a wonderful writer of how to cope with being in a home with abusive parents or family members. I found this book very helpful in my recovery from the same sort of abusive family like the main character in this book. I believe you should read this if you have been emotionally, physically, verbally, and sexually abused. The main character went through verbal abusive. I can't remember if she was subject to any other conditions in her family home or at school.

abused young and man
Adam Rapp wrote this good book. I am currently still reading it. The story in this book is about a young eleven year old who was abused by someone he knew. Someone here might have trusted. Plus his family life isn't perfect. Plus they live in a small home and with little care and food. His mother works as a nurse. He has a big sister and a younger brother. I think there should be more stories about boys(young and teens) who've been subject to any form of abuse. I haven't found many, but I'm still looking.

Read this as it's a good book. I plan to try and write a similar stpory. I'm a young man. I was abused and nothing like this book was around when I was living in England and subject to my mother, father and older brothers... I want to find more books like this one for research and help in writing my own stories about my abusive family and some friends.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Realistic Fiction

This morning and the past few days I've been thinking about using my childhood memories of Mole, my biological mother and family to use in fictional stories. I still can remember the times Mole would get drunk. Either me or my brother Ian would get his vicious tongue and physical outbursts. He'd beat and tell us horrible things he'd do to our mother if we didn't do certain things for him. Life was hell.

Now he is dead, long since gone. Plus I have endured being raped, stabbed and sexually abused by friends, family and even stabbed by someone who I thought loved me. Now I live in the US. I still miss England, but I do still have the memories of my childhood and I use those memories in my stories I write. I might not be a good writer, but I love writing.

Just want the youth of today that they aren't alone. I'm in several Yahoo Groups on the subject of writing fiction. I get advice when I can. I take in the advice from professional writers. whether they are published or not. Right now i know I'm not a good writer. I have good ideas, I plot my stories and come up with names that fit the characters for my stories. I believe one day I'll have my books published. I'm not writing for riches. Just to show the youth that they aren't alone in the world of dysfunctional families. Either they'd be like mine, or maybe totally different.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Show not Tell

Telling: Bob storms out of the room in anger.
Showing: Bob storms out of the room with his clenched, red creeping up his neck all the way to his cheeks, and his eyes narrowed.

There is no denying, in either sentence, how Bob is feeling. The second sentence, however, shows the reactions to the emotion, rather than stating the emotion itself.

Telling: Sally skipped down the street happily.
Showing: Sally skipped down the street with her arms waving easily at her sides, a brightness in her features, and a lighthearted whistle on her lips.

In this one, I exaggerated a little, perhaps showing a little too much description, but I did want another example. I will only torture you with one more. Smile

Telling: Sandra shook her head sadly as she looked at the ruined present.
Showing: Sandra shook her head, a small pout touching her lips and moisture rising into her eyes as she looked at the ruined present.

These are just a few guides to show you that showing is better than telling. It gives the reader a chance to to imagine how the emotions and feelings of the characters. I believe this is helpful tip...