Poem - What is This

What is this?
What is this numbness I feel?
What is this emptiness filling me within?

I feel nothing
I used to be able to ignore this
I used to be able to act as if nothing was wrong

I can't anymore

I can't do this
I can't act as if nothing is wrong anymore
I can't hide it

This is too much

I can't handle this
I don't know how
For how am I supposed to deal when the cause is unknown?

Used to, music would pull me out of this numb state
But not even now

Nothing helps now

Poem - This Feeling

I hate this feeling.. the feeling before it all breaks down and i burst into tears, it's hard always trying your best to keep your head up, all these nightmares.. all this time alone.. it makes me go crazy, i don't know if i can go on like this for much longer.

It's so hard.. harder then i could ever imagine, it feels like I'm drowning. Get pulled deeper down till i can't see the light anymore and I'm chained to the bottom, I'm drowning, slowly dying and no one is there to save me.. no one knows.. no one cares.

A smile on my face, my head up high, it looks like you can't break me.. But I'm already broken, to broken to be fixed and still you can't see the real side of me