Monday, November 28, 2016

Poem - Hold onto me

Hold onto me;
And don't ever let me go. 
For our love was the only real thing I've ever known. 
Like candy canes and Christmas;
Exciting and pure. 
Your beauty in and of itself surrounded me.
Filling me with a different kind of ecstasy,
The kind you could drown in and still be alive. 
I never stopped loving you. 
I never will. 
The leaves on the trees in autumn, 
Right when they change all kinds of beautiful colors. 
The precious, little things in life 
Turned out to be the biggest,
Most cherished things for us. 
So hold onto me. 
For I never completely let you go,
Holding you in a necklace I wear around my neck,
Right next my heart,
Where you truly belong. 
The brush of your lips, 
I can still feel it. 
Your hand in mine, 
It's still there;
Though nobody can physically see it. 
My heart beats slowly,
But every beat only counts for you. 
So hold onto me,
For I've never let you go.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Poem - Monsters in my Head

I dont run with the ghosts
I roam with the monsters
They dont sleep under my bed
They run free in my head

These monsters know me
They know il lose you
These monsters know you
They know your gone

The monsters live in my head
Tormenting me to sleep in my bed
The monsters are crazy
These monsters are ghosts of you

Poem - Searching Inside

It's hard, searching inside
Not seeing the glimmer
Of a flame that has died
Fate had its way
Life steered the course
As I floated the waters
Of fear and remorse
Peering through darkness
Hoping to see
Just a glimmer of light
A beacon for me
Guiding me safely to the shore
Of the piece and serenity
I've searched for before
But once again
Fate grabs my hand
And pulls me out
In the water again
I get so close
Then it happens once more
I'm floating in waters
So far from shore

Friday, March 25, 2016

Poem - Demons Tap Dancing On my Head

Demonic disciples
Establish themselves on
My maudlin mind and their maddening
Overtures in the lonely hours of
Night make a mockery of

Toe to toe, they
Allow no clean air to
Permeate my sallow skin.

Dancing has never
Acquired such a
Neurotic and nihilistic
Cacophony of
Insipid thoughts and
Nightly meanderings into a
Gargoyle's ugly head.

Over and over, their toes, like
Needles, penetrate my brain,

Massaging and kneading it like the
Yolk of a deformed egg.

Headaches and spots of colour
Emerge like spectres
And drag my mind into the
Doldrums of demonic hell.

Poem - The Cemetary

Each day seems to get darker and darker
I feel my body getting weaker
There is no light at the end of the tunnel
Nothing will ever get better
There's no point anymore

Today I went for a walk
The air was fresh and the sun was shining
But there was still pain in my head
Our daughter was walking with me
We walked through the cemetery to the park

I remembered seeing you under that tree
Years ago where we would sit
Or the area where we first made love
It was all there
The memories are still there but you're gone

Sometimes I wish you were here with me
I'll always love you
You meant the world to me then
But you couldn't stop hurting me
I wish you had changed for me
But instead you betrayed me in every single way possible

I keep seeing you in my dreams
They seem so real
I'll wake up hearing your voice in my head
Why couldn't you change?
I thought I was your soulmate
Why wasn't I enough for you?

Maybe one day we will meet again
And we would be okay together

Poem - Raven Existence

Balance embrace me,
please wrap your light
around my raven existence.

I quickly surrender
my many secrets into the fire,
as I desperately try to run and hide
from my very unstable past.

I know these patterns so well by now,
as I observantly sit and listen to them talk -
acting like they care.

Do they wonder who I am
beneath the surface of insecurity?

I give them nothing but trust
and permission to explore
the uncharted grounds of my heart,
hoping they would assemble
my cloven heart with sleek thread.

But all they ever do
is add darkness to my black heart.

Well, not any more!

For this girl has now protected
her elusive heart like buried gold!

Poem - Condemned

It's just another day;
another four walls.
I don't want to be held back
by your condemning claws.

I can't breathe anymore,
your grasp is too tight.
My body is shaking
and my head feels light.

Sick of the aching in my chest;
always feeling like a burden.
Painting on a smile but why?
How am I meant to carry on?

This isn't a mask upon my face.
It's a real pain that I am feeling.
Who knows the real me?
I am only a human being?