This morning I didn't at once feel inspired to write nothing. Every morning since Sunday I haven't been inspired to write. I know many people who know me think I'm a good write, I agree at times. But right now I don't agree. Writing is what I believe God gift. Yes, being a christian and writing is hard. At time I believe in God, at other times I don't. I want to write gay or transgendered fiction, plus my memoir doesn't want to come out. I know I have it hidden inside my head, but I'm frightened if I begin to write a gay/trans fiction people at church will denounce me.
I love my friends, but when I decided to come out to them, they blew me off. This hurt deeply. I wanted them to understand, but I doubt that will ever happen. In some cases I believe I've got good friends, in others I don't. Like a friend's husband, told me I shouldn't write these sorts of stories. I should write christian novels like my present one. I'm not only confused, but lost for where to start to figure out what sort of stories I'm meant to write.
My Scott Nash Story is about a boy who is abused by his mother and is rescued by his maternal grandmother, whom is an abusive in some ways. This story is getting hard to write. It's hard because It's a mirror image of my own life when I was Scott's age. Scott is 12yrs. He gets a social worker ad is put into a foster home. In the said foster home he is taught not all people are cruel and they end up adopting him.
Not I have a story I want to write. A story of a trouble child/teen struggling with being a gay trans-boy, but living in a female body. This is also based on my real life. I feel my life can be a guide to other trans and gay kids out there to read. In hopes of getting my gay/trans story written one day. Maybe today, maybe soon. I don't know right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment