Update - Life

There has been a lot going on during the last month or so. My brother died of cancer. I haven't been writing,  other than poetry. Sort of lost the nerve and feeling to write. Right this minute I'm at my friend's house Johnna. I love coming over here. Johnna is a writer too, and she gives me confidence in my own talents and skills. She is alike my partner.

I haven't really written since last September (2011). This was Wednesday 1:35pm. I have/am plotting and building a story template for the story I want to begin writing again. I have decided to write my first edgy/ emotional story. I plan on writing on it daily. I want to make it my number one project.

Goals

• Start and work on my current story (Valley of Echoes)
• Keep to my diet
• Work on plotting my Nano Novel
• Write 750 words on my current project a day

I found keeping goals and working on them is good. I will still spend time with my partner and friends. I will still go to church on Sunday's. I missed last week. I like going to church, having communion. Having communion and praying, seeing my friends I only see at church.

My faith is my main thing that keeps me alive along with the support of friends and my family here in America. This day is a start of a new day. I will write daily. I will try write 750 minimum a day, word count. 

Poem - The Smile

Your smile touches
my heart like a lava
so strong & so unbreakable
That when i look at your face
My whole body quivered
My hands sweats
Feelings oh so great...


Your smile made me smile too
It's like a special gift to me each day
Your smile is incomparable one
In the World there's no Man
Like you who attracted my whole visions
My heart and Soul
Your smile is one in a million
So sweet so beautiful

Your smile it's like a healing agent
That relieve all my pain
When you're in front of me
I am full of joys
That i can't imagine to live
a day without seeing you
My dear smiling one
I Love You!

Poem - What happened to me?

What happened here?
Where did I go.
Sick of these tears.
Lost and away from home.

Give me the knife.
Its time to end my life.
I know you dont care.
So let my guilt be what I share.

You have no idea how I feel.
This depression building up, like going up hill.
I am so tired and I just want to sleep forever.
You were just so darn clever.

You knew what to say and You played with my heart.
But that is fine, now I am the one being smart.
What happened to my laugh I use to hear so much.
Cant even finish a small meal of lunch.

What happened to me that this is what you do?
Well, just know that my life is through.

Poem - I feel undead

Living yet lifeless.

My mind is a melting pot of ideas, and yet I have none.

I'm not happy, but I'm not sad.

I'm bored, but don't want to do anything.

I'm lonely, but I don't like to be around people.

I haven't died...but I don't have a life

Song - Westlife - I Have a Dream

[Shane:]
I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder (wonder) of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

[Bryan:]
Oh yeah
I have a dream (have a dream), a fantasy (fantasy)
To help me through (help me through) reality (reality)
And my destination (destination) makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness
([Mark:] pushing through the darkness baby)
Still another mile

[Shane:]
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
([Mark:] everything I see yeah)
I believe in angels
([Mark:] I believe in angels )
When I know the time is right for me
([Mark:] time is right for me)
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream (oh yeah), a song to sing(song to sing)
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder (if you see the wonder) of a fairy tale (of a fairy tale)
You can take the future even if you fail (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see (everything)
I believe in angels (yeah)
When I know the time is right for me (right for me)
I'll cross the stream (cross the stream) - I have a dream (have a dream)
I'll cross the stream (cross the stream) - I have a dream

Poem - Poem for Mama

Listen to these words as they come from the heart.
Think of the last time we had to depart.
How long it seemed to take before you started the car.
How slowly these pieces from my heart broke apart.

I swore I wouldn't cry, or atleast not infront of you.
Can't forget the last karaoke singing we went too.
Or how mad I was to go to wrestling, i just refused.
But, it was never enough time, and now I am searching for things to do.

I seemed to feel my hurt worse the first few hours you were gone.
I knew I had to wait, cause the next time i seen you would be so long.

Mama, I'm waiting for our next visit.
Just to be with you for a weekend again.
I wouldn't care what we done.
Just want to be able to see you again before the next sun.

New Project - Novel Two

Courage to Weather the Storm

Outline

Alex is an 8th grader at St. Clare Grade School. His life is turned upside down when after a massive fight, his father leaves the family, leaving mom to struggle to keep everything together. Alex is crushed at first about his father leaving, until his father's secret past is discovered. With his best friends help, Alex aids his family into dealing with the loss of the father along with an increase in their faith.

Excerpt

He had never sounded so cold before. This wasn’t like him at all. What had made my dad change so much. Maybe I caused this change in him. Just watching him put the suitcases into the trunk, he then climbed into the driving seat of the dark red dodge neon and drive away. The thoughts in my head were racing like it was in the Indy 500. Just watching till the car disappeared. Somehow I knew this was a bad thing.

Taking a big deep breath, I turned and looked at my younger brother and sister. Roxanne looked like she was about to burst into floods of tears. Anton ran over to me and hugged me around my waist. He was never this clingy before.  It occurred to me that maybe he was unsure like I was why dad had just up and left.

“Alex, why did daddy go?” I hadn’t the heart to tell him dad wouldn’t be coming back. I knew I had to let mom explain things to him. The thing was where was she?

“Daddy, well, umm, he had to go. Mom will explain it better.” I told him as I walked them both into the house. I turned and hoped mom would be somewhere.

The thing that had baffled me was how dad didn’t even say goodbye to any of us. Then there was mom’s absence. Where was she? She was usually home when we got home from school.  This was completely odd.

I turned and closed the front door and walked along the hallway. I heard Roxy in the kitchen. I guessed she wanted a snack. Mom always had snacks waiting for us. I walked into the kitchen and she was opening a BIG bag of potato chips. “Roxy, I’ll make us all a sandwich.” I announced as I took the bag from her.

Quickly I put a clip on the bag of chips to seal the freshness in. Putting the bag back into the cupboard so I could make sure we had a healthy snack. I didn’t want mom complaining when she got home. I grabbed the wheat bread and cheese out the fridge. I began making myself a grilled cheese sandwich. Slowly I began buttering the side of the bread that hit the pan. It was something I was good at cooking.

“Do you two want grilled cheese? Or do you want something else to eat?” I asked as I started to put the pan on the stove to warm up. It was best when the pan was hot according to what Nana had taught me.