Wednesday Thoughts

Goals for September

• Finish plotting out my 5th novel
• Begin writing 5th novel
• Post Regular on blogs
• No Procrastinating when I should be writing
• No Facebook when I should be writing
• Listing to Music when writing

I have been having trouble posting here. I have let things lapse when I should be keeping my readers up to date with my work. I will try be better at posting about my stories, my poems and anything else I want to share here. I know I'm on my 5th novel. It's called - Change of Heart (Chronicles of Natasha Fortenberry). 

It's basically about a girl who is in a car accident and is rushed to hospital. She remembers nothing about the accident till she is diagnosed with MS. She thinks God had abandoned her as she is told she will have t use crutches or a wheelchair to get around. Plus she is put on very strong pain medication along with her other medications. She is diabetic, asthmatic and now MS. She starts to believe God has abandoned her until she starts seeing angels and having visions. She then finds God and understands why she has what she has. She begins to witness to other teens and children in hospital and in schools that God is there for them. Also that God is where he is meant to be. All they have to do is ask Him to enter their hearts and the Holy Spirit will guide them. 

I think this story is going to be number one in a series of book about Natasha Fortenberry. I hope it works out. I just love using my r/l into my stories. Yes I do see angels and have visions. That is why I'm writing this story, plus I have been diagnosed with MS recently. 

Poem - Big Brother

Big Brother

waiting for my big brother

waiting for his return

waiting for our next adventure

waiting for my big brother

no matter how many days, may pass away

i'l be right, until that day

when you come back, we can play

so until that day, here i stay

waiting for my big brother

waiting for his return

waiting for our next adventure

waiting for my big brother

my big brother, he's so brave and cool

my big brother, he's never a tool

my big brother, so strong and wise

my big brother, see's through your lies

my big brother, so happy and fun

my big brother, he helps a ton ^^

waiting for my big brother

waiting for his return

waiting for our next adventure

waiting for my big brother

Poem - You are Always in my Heart

You are always in my heart,

When we are a part.

I think of you each moment,

Thinking about when we'll be together again.

You have stolen my heart,

You are a part of me forever more

What swill I do without you

 I would have a broken heart that can not mend...

​You are my Soul-Mate, 

You are my partner, my parent, my best friend forever. 

You hold the key to my heart. 

Only you can unlock the happiness from within...

You bring me happiness and Joy each day

I doubt I be here if you weren't here to share the day with

I love you for now and forever more. 

Poem - I'm Sorry

I hurt the people I love
Though I don't mean to
I hurt those who care about me
I can't live knowing I do this to you

I'm sorry for the things I say
I know it makes you sad 
Depression is killing me inside
It's making everything I do bad

Why can't I do anything right?
Why do I have to hurt you?
Do I have to live this way?
Is there anything else I can do?

I'm sorry I'm so sad all the time
I know you hate it when I cry
Sometimes I stay up at night
And wish I could be a star in the sky

Maybe then I wouldn't feel the way I do
Because I'd be a beautiful being
I could shine no matter what
I'd be a sight worth seeing

I'm sorry I'm not worth anything
I wish I could change for you
I hate knowing I hurt people 
I hate knowing I make you sad too

Book Review - Parallel Vision by Cheryl Rainfield

This morning I got my new book. It's Parallel Vision by Cheryl Rainfield. I have her two other books And love them. I chat with her online on Facebook. She has become a good friend and fellow writer of Young Adult edgy stories. I too was abused in several ways by my whole family in the UK. I'm now been living in Indiana for eight years and married for the same. I love my partner and they are soul mate and best friend. They in courage me to write.

I have written two novels, almost finished my third too. I have plans of a forth. None of my novels are related to each other. I have an editor, my father-in-law. He was an editor for the Indianapolis Star newspaper for many years. He is retired now and happily helping me with my editing. He is fun too. We have some things in common, but not much. He still loves to read the paper and watch many sports just like myself.

I love this book. It is a fun read. I love reading stories about psychic teen. I love teen stories whatever they are about. It helps me research what sort of stories are out there and what is my niche.

Parallel Visions is about a teen who is psychic. She has psychic visions, which cause her to have an asthma attack. Most of them are fatal. She has to be careful to look after her health. Kate, the protagonist could die from one the asthma attacks she has due to the visions she has. A very good read and now I have all Cheryl Rainfield books. She is a good author.

Poem - Forever Friends

This is Dedicated to my friend Patty...

Friendship Forever

Every Sunday your there with a smile.
No matter how much pain or sorrow you feel, your there
Everyone can count on you to volunteer
You touch so many hearts and souls

Your reach out to me today
I felt God guiding me to hold you deep inside my heart.
Holding your hand was like touching one of God's angels
You are special in every way

You need guidance, I am there
You need friends, I am there
You need to talk, I'm just a call away
Ready to listen and share your pain, your sorrow

You need someone, for anything, I am there
You are special, Special to those who care
Special to those who are there
You are there for us when we need a shoulder

I'm there always and forever...

Getting back into Gear - Writing and Blogging

It's been a hard time the last few months. I've been working on one project. I wanted to finish it, but it's been hard getting it done. I used my life experiences of moving from England to America. The story I've spent most of my last few months writing and getting the story flowing. 'The Lonely American Road' is about a girl with two younger brothers and her single dad moving to Indiana to be with his online girlfriend with two young girls. Chloe is the main character and is the oldest of all five kids together. She struggles with many things. In the end she finds she can deal with having more siblings, but the step-mom thing is hard on her. She thinks her dad is trying to replace her mom who died of cancer.

After running off to her mother's parents in Boston, MA. She finds she has been missed by her grandparents and has gained two cousins. Harriet and Michelle. They too are younger than her. She finds things hard to deal with. Her grandparents take her back to Indiana. They fly there. Soon the whole family is together as Chloe's dad marries Kim, her step-mom. Chloe finds she can cope now the family is re-united.

I used so much of my real life of gaining a step-dad when I was just a mere babe. The only difference is my step-dad was abusive. Chloe's step-mom isn't. Chloe's dad tells her she is special, reminding him of her mom every single day. It's the first happy ending story I've written. Well still writing. I'm finding it hard to finish it though.

I didn't have a happy childhood at all. I began healing when I met my partner and his parents and siblings. They welcomed me with open arms. My partner's mom called me her daughter. She said I came to her in replacement of her lost daughter she miscarried. It showed me there were people in this world willing to love you even if your not their own child. My partner's mom loved me like I was her own child. It took me some time to accept. I did. I had six wonderful years with her as my adoptive mom. Even though I was full grown and an adult.

Barbie gave me a loving mother figure to show me the way. She taught me what it means to love unconditional. Just like God and Jesus does teach us all in his word the Holy Bible. I became a Catholic due to her showing me that not all Catholics are bad. Plus, I now have a happy life with my partner and their family. Barbie died almost two years ago of Cancer. I miss her every minute of every hour of every day. She was my mom to me. I couldn't have had a better teacher to show me how to receive and give love. She and my partner was what I needed when I got here.

Now I miss her so much. I'm glad I have my partner as they remind me of her. Plus, I have their brothers and their dad to help me cope...