Camp NaNo - July 2015

This morning I decided to get working on my new story idea I've been pondering for a while. It's a transgender story with sci-fi elements to it. This is the first sci-fi story I've ever attempted to write. I love Star Trek, Star Wars and a few other sci-fi books and movies. I also love Stargate, Babylon 5. to name just a few. I want to make this story a great one. I am going to attempt this story with an open mind. I'm transgender too. So this is going to be an eye opener.

The title so far is called Forgotten Rebels. It's theme is transgender, dysfuctional family fiction too.

Outline:
Ambitious, sporty and butch. Danielle was known to her friends as the  butch lesbian. She knew this wasn't her true self. She was confused and felt so alone in her life. Every time she looked in the mirror she saw something that she couldn't understand. It wasn't her looking back it as a short, spiky haired boy looking at her. Not her at all. She knew she was different, but this was confusing her beyond belief.

Danni went to her parents to ask about taking her to a gender therapist. They refused and told  her she was a girl. Danni was fourteen and in high school. She knew who she was. She wasn't the girl she struggled to be, but a boy trapped inside her female body. She got her parents together and told them she was going to run away if they didn't listen to her. She knew she had to get away from them. She ran to the woods where she found a portal. It was glowing bright blue and green. the colors where twirling into each other. She put her hand into it and felt someone grab it. They tried to pull her into the portal. She pulled back as hard as she could. She was yanked through the portal.

Danni saw the three boys who had pulled her into the portal. She was now confused to where she was. nothing looked the same. The town was different somehow. it was like Hythe, not the Hythe she knew. She knew she was in a different world. This is her story from girl into boy in a matter of seconds.

Excerpt:

It was a cold blustery night in December. The rain was coming down in bucket loads. It was like God’s bath was badly overflowing. With Danni researching names he wanted to be know as. He was going to come out to his parents once he picked the right time and with his younger sisters tucked up snug in their beds. This was the time to tell his parents who he truly was. No more hiding under a bushel.

Slowly Danni walked into the living room were his parents were cuddling on the couch watching Dirty Dancing. It was Mom’s favorite movie of all time. Just as Danni walked into the room, he could see it was his only chance to become the boy they should have been born as. The time was now. Whether it was the right time or not, Danni had to tell them his plans for the rest of their life.

Slowly he stood in front of the TV screen, blocking them from seeing the movie. It would make them pause it while he came out. Not sure of their reaction to his news. Also what he’d picked as his boy name. “Mom, Dad I got something important to discuss with you.” His Dad hit the pause button on the remote. Danni knew what he was about to say. “Yes this is the right time. It’s very important” Danni told them.

“Danielle what is it? Hurry as this is the best part.” Danni hated being called Danielle. It wasn’t their right name in their book.

“Mom, Dad, I’m a transgender person. It means I was born into the wrong body. Don’t worry, I printed out some things I found on the internet that best explains what I am and what I am going to do to right the birth defect.” Danni explained to them as he handed out what he’d printed off the internet. “No Mom it isn’t a phase at all. I want you to refer to me as Marquis, or Mark. I research and know my grandfather was also named Marquis. I’ll have a middle name of David. So I’ll be Marquis David Foxx.” Mark was finished talking. He waited on his parents to listen and help him change, or would they disown him for this?

Poem - What is This

What is this?
What is this numbness I feel?
What is this emptiness filling me within?

I feel nothing
I used to be able to ignore this
I used to be able to act as if nothing was wrong

I can't anymore

I can't do this
I can't act as if nothing is wrong anymore
I can't hide it

This is too much

I can't handle this
I don't know how
For how am I supposed to deal when the cause is unknown?

Used to, music would pull me out of this numb state
But not even now

Nothing helps now

Poem - This Feeling

I hate this feeling.. the feeling before it all breaks down and i burst into tears, it's hard always trying your best to keep your head up, all these nightmares.. all this time alone.. it makes me go crazy, i don't know if i can go on like this for much longer.

It's so hard.. harder then i could ever imagine, it feels like I'm drowning. Get pulled deeper down till i can't see the light anymore and I'm chained to the bottom, I'm drowning, slowly dying and no one is there to save me.. no one knows.. no one cares.

A smile on my face, my head up high, it looks like you can't break me.. But I'm already broken, to broken to be fixed and still you can't see the real side of me

Poem - Is This Life Worth Living

Is this life worth living 

if your living it alone 

to try to walk with your head high 

to make people think your strong 

your crying on the inside 

while trying to smile on the out 

your mind it planing ways of ending it 

but your heart won't pull it off 

you try to think of the ones you would hurt 

if you where to go

but your head tells you they will grieve 

but then they could move on 

is this life really worth living 

if your living it all alone

Poem - Am I Ugly

I am ugly

This is me

I feel hopeless.

My ugly looks I hate

Even though I pretend to love my looks.

Nothing is beautiful about me

This feeling makes me be miserable

As I hate my ugly looks, which make me appear as a reject.

NaNoWriMo Update - Day 10

It's the tenth day for NaNoWriMo. I am planing on writing some today. I wrote over 3,000 yesterday. I am way ahead of schedule. My story is flowing like the wind. Just love the way my story is growing into a good novel. I still think I should've written it in 3rd person. 1st person is easy for me I know. I just think if I wrote in 3rd person it would be a better story. Will write my next story in 3rd person.

Right now I need to feed myself and get some writing done. I know I'm going out writing with Theresa tomorrow, just need to write today though. My headache is turning into a migraine. Need to make sure I write no matter what I feel like. I have to keep my word count ahead of schedule. Just feeling so alive when I'm writing my story. This is going to be a scorcher of a story. Jade feels like I would if I was her. Jade is the protagonist/MC in my story. She is such a loving character. Just got to know where she is coming from.

Day Four - NaNoWriMo - November 2014

It's NaNoWriMo again. This means it's November 2014 and I'm working on my next novel for NaNoWriMo. I think this is the time to get these novels written. I have done my first three days. On day one I got 2500+ done, day two I got 1700+ done. Third day I got hardly nothing written. Now on day four I've done so much already and going out with a friend to write tonight. Just know writing is my thing. I love writing and writing is the only good thing I'm good at.

Just this year I plan on dedicating this novel to my late departed mother-in-law. She was someone who inspired me to write along with my partner. they are both my muse for writing. My mother-in-law has been gone for a few years now. I miss her smiling face. Her words of wisdom. They are both good things I remember about her. She would phone me most days to check up on me. She would always ask about my writing. How it was going, what I was writing so on. Now I don't have that at all. I miss her so much.

Now day four. I plan on getting up to 10,000 tonight or sometime tomorrow. I know I can write this story. It's a good story to be writing. I have called this one Chronicles of Jade Foxx. This is going to be a series I plan on writing. It's on one of my pages to the right. Just read up about it. You are sure to like the story and the start I have for this one. I will be updating this blog throughout the whole of this month. I know I can make a BIG splash one day. Just trying to remember that my mother-in-law is watching me from above.