Poem - Angel, I should have told you

Your laughter speaks the loudest
And you tell me that you're fine
Angel, don't you lie to me
It's time to draw the line

Tell me why you're breaking apart
And why it hurts to give a smile
Give me a chance to let you in
And you'll find that it's worthwhile

I can tell you're trying so very hard
To swallow your faults and fears
I can hear you when you whisper
"If you only knew of all my tears"

You're losing yourself a little at a time
I see you're starting to fade away
Angel, don't you lose your hope
If you come to me, I will stay

"What's wrong", you're always asked
You return with the same reply
"Nothing, I'm okay..." said with
a disheartened twinkle in your eye

I can see the suffering you lock away
With all of the memories that you keep
I can always see your tired face
From when you cry yourself to sleep

It's quite obvious that you want to go
But, you can't leave me here alone
Angel, Don't you let go of your life
I'll fill the gaps that need to be sewn

Me, Myself and I

After reading a blog I follow recently I found out I have some things I'd like to share. I know talking about oneself can be classed as being self-centered. I'm not usually self-centered or selfish. I just think talking about one thing I just adore doing and telling the world about my incredible gifts. God gave me the gift with words. I just love to write and I write as best as I can.

Writing is what I've come to love to do since I was in my early teen years. My abusive family never knew how I believed in God or how good my writing could be. I thank them for some things. Maybe I got my gift from one my siblings or even my parents. I do know I love writing my own stories and poems... Writing is what I do best. My partner will tell you I'm a great writer of Christian Young Adult fiction.

Over the past three to four months I've been working on two stories. I finished my NaNo novel and I started my third story/novel. I';m on chapter 4 on my 3rd novel. I'm hoping to finish it and maybe I should edit my second or first novel so I can get one of them published. I do need the money, but I want to put my work out there and for the youth of today to know about God and Jesus. How they are there for us all. Plus, that God the Trinity shouldn't have to be known, just having faith and believing in the Trinity should be enough.

The Trinity

Update: Valley of Echoes

The day is Thursday 10th January. I have been writing on my story for almost three months now. I started it during NaNoWriMo. Now it is almost done. I have learned a lot from writing this story. It started out as a easy project. It ended up being really hard to get down onto paper. It taught me that I am stronger for writing it. I suffered a hell of a lot of abuse under the watchful hands of many of my biological family members. I now know that I'm in a better place for writing this story. One day I'll get it out there to the youth of today.

I want to let the youth that God is there for them. They didn't, aren't and will not suffer in vain. He is there watching over them and guiding his angels to be by your sides. Just allow him to help and guide you. I found God late in life, but knew he was always there for me. Plus, you can contact the social services and know that they are there to listen, and help you get away from your abusers. I know this now. I never when I was undergoing the abuse.

Don't go through it alone. You have resources out there for you to contact and get help from. I know they are there. I talked with some social workers, therapists and counselors too. You need them to help you get away from those who hurt and neglect you. Get and seek the right help.

UPDATE - Valley of Echoes

This morning I haven't written anything but change a few things on my story. I intend to get some more writing done on my NaNo story. I'm on Chapter 19 right now and with 36,000 words done. Valley of Echoes are about the abuse I suffered at the hands of family. I love writing and writing this story is helping me understand my self and others around me.

I wrote some yesterday and the day before. I plan on getting at least 1,000 words done today or tonight. Going out with Theresa is helping my writing and getting this story finished. Plus, it helps to get the feelings and emotions out. It helps to write.

Progress Report: NaNoWriMo

It's now half way into the writing month. NaNoWriMo is a writing month. It's where you write a novel in 30 days. November is writing month. I'm up to 10,000+. My story is a teen, edgy story. I use my abusive childhood as my story themes. The title of my NaNo story is called 'Valley of Echoes.'  I'm on Chapter Five.

I'm about to try write some more. I need to stop procrastinating and write. I find writing brings me to life. I can show the world there are people like me out there. I'm catholic, a survivor of many forms of abuse by not only my parents, but my brothers, grandparents and my Uncle David. Imagine your sexually, emotionally, physically and verbally.

Write what you want to read. Write what you feel you have a story to write. To let children and teens know that God and Jesus is there, they just need to pray and ask God into there lives. They have to have a contrite spirit and a humble heart.

Day One - NaNoWriMo

On day one I only got 785 words written. I need to write 2,000 a day to keep up and keep to schedule. I bet my friends on Facebook are ahead of me as I have no working computer. I'm sharing my partner's computer till my laptop come back from the repair shop. I know exactly what I'm going to write and how my main character is going to interact with the rest of the characters.

Let's see if I can reach my goal today or do more to catch up.

New Project - Prodigal Mother

Right now I'm at Panera Bread for a meal and typing on our computers. I'm thinking about my new project I'm working on. It's based on some things that happened during my childhood with my own mother. She was never loving, caring and didn't want me to be happy at all. I think I need to get my butt into gear and write, writer and write some more. I hate not being able to write. I plan on going over to Johnna's tomorrow with my partner. It's there birthday. They will be 38 yrs old. They got half their gift from us. The rest of their gift is in my closet. Plus Angel had gotten my partner a book for them.

Now I want to set myself some Goals about getting this project finished and done by November 30th. I'm helping Theresa set up an account on NaNo Write Month. I believe she'll be a good writer. She full of vip and vinegar in my book. He story is going to be about someone writing a journal in a freshman year in high school.

My project is about a boy whose mother left him and his little sister when she was just born. Now the mother is back and with another young child in hand. The main character wants to know if he should trust his mother or not. He doesn't want to trust her one bit. He recons she is going to dump her daughter, his half sister on his grandmother along with him and Kendall.