Poem - Shades of Abuse

Red:

for the excruciating pain that you caused my young body
to experience with every touch.


Pink:

for the innocence you proudly stole without permission
when I was only eight years old.


White:

for the absence of colour that you left behind
inside my tainted childhood.


Light Grey:

for all the tears I shed in secret,
hoping no one would hear them falling.


Dark Grey:

for the sorrow that will remain with me,
growing old inside my memories.


Black:

for the deep dark hole that you buried me in;
the hole I live in every day.

Poem - Do dreams come true?

The sun is shining,
Over a distant moon.
And we're flying,
Hanging to a balloon.

Magical pixies sprinkle,
Our heads with their dust.
"Let go." You smile and say.
I do, your words I trust.

We fall for a moment,
But then shot back up.
As we decide to catch a ride,
In a flying teacup.

We soar and soar!
Over rivers, mermaid lagoons.
You holding my hand,
The higher we flew.

Clouds of cotton candy,
Birds sing flying by.
Pulling me to your arms,
Humming me a lullaby. 

Nothing is sweeter,
Then your voice in my ear.
It's the only one I listen for,
Only one I hear

Such an handsome prince,
He saved me from the tower.
Nothing could stop him,
Not even the dragons power.

Our teacup landed,
In front of his castle door.
He held me close,
Tighter than before.

He looked into my eyes,
Tucked hair behind my crown.
"Your too beautiful."
"Where's your wedding gown?"

We leaned in for a kiss,
I closed my eyes shut.
Alarm clock ringing,
My eyes opened up.

As I thought,
Wasn't real should've knew.
Was Cinderella right?
Do dreams every come true?

Poem - The Coffee in Your Eyes

In the coffee of your eyes
There is the nipple of all the swollen meadows
And the sweet bites
Of all the mountain hives.
Wet and cozy
Like a summer breeze
Temperate like whisper
Feverish like your passion for life
Like the puppy bites of all the delectable sounds
In silence
Like the well of wood
In the smell of boiling kettle
Like the ladder of your dark breath
Climbing ears of night
Like the moaning of joy
In the full moon of your teeth
In the cup of my night
In my cup all night.

Poem - Love? Attraction?

.........You.........................stood

.......by the....................corner seat

...tugging your shirt.....over your love 

..handles as if you were carrying them 

....in the wrong places. I do not mind.

......I do not mind at all. I just know 

.......that I was heavily attracted to

................your awkward pose.

.................Your pointed nose.

....................Your poignant 

..........................prose.

Poem - Depression

Words cannot say,
What I want them too.
I can't say how I feel,
Nobody believes it's true.

Instead I hold it in,
Hoping I'll get through.
Another day in pain,
Knowing its me not you.

How do you tell family,
That you're falling apart.
Hiding that your sad,
And your broken heart.

What happens when,
You think your not worth it all.
You wish they'd realize,
You can't help but fall.

When you cry secretly,
And you cry yourself to sleep.
You keep your door shut,
So nobody hears you weep.

You distance yourself,
So nobody gets hurt.
If you decide to end the pain,
And scatter yourself in dirt.

The day you knew the fact,
It was the day of your birth.
You came into life,
Knowing what you were worth.

Every single coin spent,
You wished to take it back.
Thinking your not worth it,
And leave it just at that.

You can't help but think,
You can't do it on your own.
But you don't want anyone close,
Incase you still end up alone.

Poem - PTSD

I can still smell him.
The musky sweat, the cologne, the popcorn on his breath.

I still feel him.

His sharp, evil fingernails everywhere they shouldn't be.
His thick, calloused hands everywhere they shouldn't be.
I remember the pain.
His watch scraping against the scabbed-over, self-harm, razor slits on my hipbones
as everything I protected was abused and thieved.
His fingernails.
My throat.
My sense of security.

I can't get out.
My skin is wound airtight around my bones.
I want to slice it with a blade
long, deep lines
and step out
and run
sprint,
never stop.

I'm not pretty anymore.
I feel bad for the man, if I ever marry.
Too many times I've cut my skin.
Raised, purple, flat, brown
scars covering my stomach, arms, thighs.
Word scars.
Fat, ugly, dead.

It was seven months ago.
And I feel everything
and see everything
hear it all -

as if it were in the last 5 minutes.

And I don't want to live anymore.

Poem - Suicide

If I killed myself...

Would anybody care?

If I didn't... 

Would anyone be there?

So many questions to ask, 

Why won't the pain go away?

My heart can't take much more..

So why do I stay?

Nobody wants me here.

I am nothing. 

If I killed myself...

Would I be something?