Poem

The words I've scrawled across this page
Have a meaning that haunts me still,
Animating in my mind
After all these years they kill.

And so I pick up the pen again
Though it feels foreign in my hand
And stare once more into the Abyss:
The wreckage of all I've planned

My words tend to disarm and charm
Those who come to read
And in their heartbreak, I have planted
From my own ache a tiny seed

Whether it's a weed or flower
I will never come to know
I have never had the patience 
To stay and watch it grow

I sow these seeds in my lines
Nurtured with feelings I cannot say
And when it comes time for them to bloom
The world can reap whatever it may

I think I prefer it this way
Let my echoes remain unknown
Let them take this how they will
And leave me in my darkness... 

Poem - Just out of Reach

All my dreams
Are just out of Reach 
No matter how far I run 
or how far I stretch out to get them 
They are just out of my reach 
my fingertips barely brushing them.

Poem - Sadness

Sadness is one emotion, which remains To deal with it is never easy Although, as it is always the case, everything lingers Like a painful shadow, when one loses hope Is the way sadness is, which requires an outlet Be it in anyway, mostly through creativity As, when we are creative, then things turn to be really soulful.

Poem - Spelling my pain

D is for Drugs used to mask the pain, E is for an Ecstasy I long to embrace, P is for the Peculiar way people treat you, R is for Remembering better days, E is for Exit - a way to escape, S is for Solitude always alone, S is for Sadness my only emotion, I is for Indomitable - I will not break, O is for Ostracised - my way of hiding, N is for Never give up never surrender. I spell it so you better understand, What it is to live in this terrible land, A place without hope or light, To you all, I bid good night.

Poem - Too Late

Why weren't you there
Why didn't you even care
The scars deep inside
I just threw them aside

I pretended that things were okay
When they were actually in disarray
I was left alone, all filled up with hate
Years have passed, now it's all too late

I sewed myself shut from you
Now you can't break me, you can't push through
You don't mean anything to me anymore
You're just a prisoner of your own war

Poem - I'm Sorry

I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment 
I didn't mean to do what I did
I'm sorry I'm such a disgrace
I'm sorry if I embarrassed you
You say I was an accident 
You said I was a mistake
But what really hurt 
Was when you said you wanted me dead

Poem - Scars

Here on my arm lies a mark that I made.
When I was so low I cut with a blade
To punish my body for being a mess,
Though here is my testament, I must confess...

That seeing these scars left on my arms, legs and chest
Makes me realize I was in a place of no rest;
I feel guilty inside for leaving this token.
Now I will see and remember that I was so broken.

But seeing these scars helps me see
That I survived so much trauma and now I am free;
So I ask of you now to stand with me and fight,
To show all these demons what they're doing's not right,

You won the battle of good versus bad.
You are still alive and are no longer sad;
Here on my arm lies a mark of survival,
I got through my hate and beat my self-rival.